I found a good fare out of Colorado Springs and decided to do a mileage run to Tucson. My trip was as follows: COS-IAH-LAX-TUS-LAX-IAH-COS and spanned the course of two days.
The trip started at Colorado Springs Airport. I wish I could fly out of smaller airports like this one more because they are so much easier than the giant airports. I made it through security in less than 2 minutes. The airport was pretty empty and had plenty of seating and free WiFi, so I was happy.
Poorly taken photo of COS
While I was waiting to board, I heard a baby crying...not just usual crying...this kid was screaming at the top of their lungs and the sound reverberated throughout the entire airport. I prayed to God, Allah, and Vishnu that this baby would not be on my flight, but of course the baby was on my flight. After I boarded, I realized there were actually two other babies on the flight (what the hell!!?? was there a baby convention in town). Once we were airborne, all three babies proceeded to have a crying contest. At this point, I considered cutting my ears off, but unfortunately I did not have anything sharp enough - thanks TSA.
Luckily, the flight wasn't too long. We landed in Houston on time and I headed over to the food court for some heart attack inducing airport food. The next flight to LA was pretty uneventful except for the Mexican woman sitting next to me who was blasting mariachi music from her headphones.
After a fairly long layover at LAX, I boarded my last flight of the day to Tucson. When I arrived in Tucson, I took a hotel shuttle to the Palo Verde Inn. I only stayed here because it was close to the airport and the rate was $35 per night. For $35 my expectations were exceeded. I got a large room with a balcony and some good A/C (which is very necessary in Tucson). The only real problem was the WiFi was dreadfully slow. Why is it so challenging for hotels to provide decent WiFi?
Decent bathroom - no complaints
Shower
Herpes infused bedspread
Closeup of the bedspread (time to whip out my blacklight)
A Kleenex box holder/bottle opener - that's how you know you're staying at a classy hotel
When I first arrived at the hotel, I was extremely thirsty. The first thing I did when I got to my room was head to the sink for some water, but all that came out of the tap was boiling hot, undrinkable Tucson water. I looked all over the hotel for an ice machine, but couldn't find one. There was a soda vending machine, but I didn't have any cash on me. I ended up just making do with what I had. I filled every cup they gave me with the boiling tap water and stuck them in the fridge.
After a decent night's sleep, I woke up the next morning and checked out. I inquired to see if the airport shuttle was running and the front desk lady told me the hotel manager would drive me. The manager was very friendly and while driving to the airport in the shuttle, he asked, "So what brings you to Tucson?" I never know quite how to answer this question when I'm on mileage run. I don't really like telling people I'm on a mileage run because the response tends to be, "Wow what a waste of money...how can u stand being on planes for no reason?" I just told him I was visiting friends. But then he probed further. He started asking why I stayed at the hotel instead of at my friends place. I said their place wasn't big enough. The questions kept coming. What do your friends do out here in Tucson? How do you know them? I found myself having to craft an elaborate story about my imaginary Tucson friends.
When I arrived at Tucson Airport, I was pleasantly surprised. I had been there the night before, but hadn't really realized how nice it is. I made it through security in a flash and was quickly at my gate. The chairs in the terminal were all very new and there were plenty of places to plug in a laptop. Also, there was free WiFi which was blazing fast.
View of the mountains from Tucson Airport
Tucson Airport
Free WiFi and actual places to plug in a laptop!
My plane
I boarded my flight to LA which was one of the better flight experiences I've had in a while. I got seat 1C and no one was sitting next to me. Also, the flight attendant servicing this CRJ-200 was very good. He was extremely friendly and constantly checked to see if people needed refills. I felt like I was in first class even though this plane didn't have a first class.
My drink was constantly filled
View from the plane
Approaching LAX
After landing in LA, it was time for some lunch so I headed over to Wolfgang Puck for some pizza.
Wolfgang Puck pizza
Wolfgang, you corporate whore you
I then headed to the gate for my flight to Houston.
Plane to Houston
I boarded my full flight to Houston. I was sitting next to a girl that seemed very excited to be on the plane. She told me it was her first time on a plane. As we started taxiing out, the TV monitors came out and the safety video started. The look on the girls face can only be described as pure amazement. "The plane has TVs?" she exclaimed. I thought to myself, "Wow, she really doesn't get out much"
As we were about to take off, the girl said "this is going to be a long flight" to which the other woman in our row replied, "that's a good thing because I've got a ton of work to get done". The woman then proceeded to play Angry Birds on her iPad nonstop for the next three hours (getting lots of work done). The thing that annoyed me was she had her sound on full blast. For those of you that have played Angry Birds before, you know the sounds for this game are not pleasant. Here's a clip of what I was forced to endure for the duration of the flight. Note: Turn your sound up full blast before playing the video to get the full effect of what I felt.
I should have told the woman to turn the sound off or use headphones, but I was too busy groveling over how stupid she was. Did she not realize she was on a plane with other people? Did she think she was just sitting in her living room? What ever happened to common decency?
One last rant and then I'll shut up. What's the deal with people pulling on the chair of the person in front of them in order to get up out of their chair. Use your freaking arm rests to pull yourself out of the chair! There's no need to violently pull my seat back. I was peacefully napping when suddenly the guy behind me violently yanked my chair back. Come on now! I don't need none of that, especially when I've already been subject to squawking bird torture for the last two hours.
When I arrived in Houston there was big storm brewing and my final flight of the mileage run to Colorado Springs was delayed by about three and a half hours. Uggghhh! I finally made it back home by about 4 AM, and immediately passed out on my bed.
Besides the crying babies, Angry Birds, and the utter soul crushing dehumanization that comes with flying in coach, my flights were all really nice in that they allowed me to catch up on my reading. I had a ton of business strategy and management consulting case study books I wanted to read but hadn't had time until now. Reading up on best business practices, I couldn't help but think of some ways the airlines could vastly improve. For one, how about banning babies from flights or at least charging an extremely high fee to discourage people from bringing babies on board. Why the hell do you need to take your baby on vacation with you? They are a nuisance to take care of and if grandma in Florida really wants to see them, she can come visit you. Leave the baby at home with a babysitter and save your fellow plane passengers the pure torture of being trapped in a metal tube with your crying poop machine. You're probably starting to think I hate babies. I love babies, just not being stuck with them on a plane. But seriously, there should be a $500 fee to bring your baby on a plane. It would make the world a much better place.
